Making Decisions that Stick

Trying to make effective and timely decisions with AD/HD can present a major hurdle in successfully managing day to day situations. Sometimes a simple yes or no question can become so complicated and fraught with anxiety that the opportunity to decide (and take control over the issue) is lost.

What are the four landmines that can influence your ability to control your decision-making process, and how do you manage them?

Perfectionism. Based on a belief system that it is unacceptable to make a mistake, perfectionists are ruled by lots of “shoulds” and “what if” thinking. It is the all or nothing choice for many with AD/HD. The ultimate in self-defeating behavior, perfectionism is based on unrealistic standards by which these individuals measure their ability to make the “right” choice.

If perfectionism gets in your way, what can you do to minimize the impact?

1. Set realistic goals: what is doable right now? If you are trying to decide how many books to take on vacation, how many can you reasonably read in 7 days?
2. Eliminate the “shoulds”: this is the voice of others; what do you enjoy reading?
3. Minimize the “what ifs”: what if you bring the “wrong” books? What’s the worst that can happen? You go to the store and buy something else.

Procrastination. While this can also be linked to perfectionism, we’ll talk about it in relation to time management. “Why make the decision now, when I can do it later?” The concept of time passing can be so intangible to someone with AD/HD that the idea of forever takes precedent. It’s not until you run up against a deadline that you are able to act. Frequently that results in chaos, tension and a feeling of failure.

How can you begin to get hold of procrastination?

1. Practice taking action at the time. Any time you find yourself saying, “I’ll think about it later,” stop and think about it right then and there. Even if you don’t make a final decision, move on to step 2.
2. Create a daily list of decisions you need to make before the end of the day. Cross them off as you complete them. Check the list at the end of the day and finalize any open decisions.

Too Many Choices. People with AD/HD often find themselves facing what seems to be a sea of endless choices, leading to the internal struggle of how can they possibly narrow down the field. In actuality, they really don’t have that many options, it just seems that they do because again, the phrase “what if” is used too frequently, without boundaries.

If you are overwhelmed by all the choices that you think you have, consider your options.

1. If you could select only 3 choices today, what would they be and why?
2. What would you lose if you limited yourself to those 3; what would you lose if you postponed making the decision?
3. On a scale of 1-10, rank your 3 choices and pick one that has the best score (10 being best)

Distraction. Finally, don’t underestimate one of the basic forms AD/HD takes in pulling your attention away from the decision at hand. You may find that distractibility causes you to forget that you have a decision to make, or when you need to make it.

1. Use your agenda or organizer to post the decision opportunity as soon as you know about it.
2. Monitor the list daily and check off the decisions as you make them.
3. If you need to take some action as a result of your decision, make a note to do it by a certain time (agenda/organizer).

Getting comfortable with the idea that you can make decisions that you can live with takes time and practice. Just like any change, it won't happen overnight. In time, however, you'll be able to add effective decision-making to your list of strengths.

Back-to-School Organization for Adults

As we head into the month of August, even as adults it's hard to avoid connecting with those familiar, yet distant thoughts of "back to school" and fresh beginnings. New backpack, pencils, folders, cool clothes; it's a time to think about the endless possibilities that get us back into the groove. And certainly new "stuff" is a great way to help us realize success by reigning in the challenges that come from the threat of disorganization.

Or is it?

How about those cute little boxes that come in multiple sizes and colors (stacked in the corner of the closet), the gigantic plastic bins that hold (and hide) everything, a colorful floral collection of file folders (still sitting in their tidy little pouches on the kitchen counter), the right pens in your favorite colors (with the perfect grip, still in the package), the best Dymo label maker with personalized labels (how do you work that thing?), the snazziest little Kate Spade personal pocket agenda (it's around here somewhere)? Won't they help? Sadly, more STUFF is not going to result in conquering your issues with clutter, missed appointments, unpaid bills, lost time looking for missing items.

It's not the what, it's the how.

Here are 3 quick and easy steps you can take to start getting organized NOW:

1) Identify a clutter "hot spot" and set a timer for 15 minutes during which time you'll attack the clutter. When the timer rings, either quit, or assess your progress and decide if you want to spend another 15 minutes (don't forget the timer!).

2) Create a family calendar with different pen colors for each member (yippee, get to use the cool pens!). Record activities as they come up, and check the calendar each morning to set the structure of the day.

3) Designate an area by the door (where you and your family frequently leave and enter the house) where family members know that they must "park" their belongings (keys, cell, wallet, purse, backpack, etc.) upon entering, so that they can find them the next day. If something gets moved (backpack with homework), it needs to go back to the spot before bedtime.

Is there more to organizing than 3 steps? Sure, but this is a great start for now.